Can't Put a Price on Sisterhood

One criticism of Greek life is that you are paying for your friends. While the dues can be expensive, this is not the first organization I have had to pay dues. But that's not the point of this post.

The point is, my sorority has afforded me some amazing experiences. I found my sorority at exactly the right time in my life, when I needed them most. When I was going through recruitment, for this sorority that was re-chartering it's chapter at my university, I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression. Those were some of the worst times of my life. There were days that I would only stare at walls from my bed. I don't know how I even got through my classes. One professor, one of the hardest, fairest and probably the best professor I had, commended me at the end of the year for how well I did despite it at all. She knew how hard of a teacher she was, and I had her for two classes that semester. Truly, I thank my sorority for helping me get through those times.

I probably would not have met some of my sisters if it hadn't been for my sorority just through chance; different majors, different circumstances. But, because of my sorority I found some of my very best friends. Our headquarters sent us the two most amazing advisers for the recolonization process. They are legitimately the big sisters I never had and helped me out a lot. My sisters were so accepting of my depression and have fought with me-one of them by my side when I got a fighter tattoo on my wrist, to be stronger than the depression.

I realized, yet again, how valuable my sisterhood is at our big/little reveal the other night. Last year, I took a little who is the little sister that I never had. We were a great match. As a founder, I don't have a big, so taking a little means a lot to me, especially watching her grow into sorority life and live our values. Before this year's recruitment, I had signed up again to be a big but I really didn't think my family could get any more perfect.

However, come Bid Day, my little's "rush crush" had accepted a bid, so both of us were hoping that she would join our family. Although I am a senior, I connected with one of the freshman who accepted a bid. She is not much like me, but I was absolutely thrilled when we were matched up as big and little. And my first little's rush crush became my grand little.

Fast forward to big little reveal. My family finally had a tree, I had two littles and a grand little. We are a variety of personalities, a mix match of characteristics. But I think that's what makes us complete. Welcoming one little into our family and watching my little welcome her little into our family was really awesome. We're all sisters within the sorority, living the same values. But there is just something about family. Yes, having a little is definitely an additional responsibility.

But here is what I love about being a big, yes, I get to spoil my littles and grand little with crafts that I see on Pinterest, which is a ton of fun and I love it. However, I love watching my littles learn, learn what our sorority means and what it means to be a part of it, as they take on more responsibility to the chapter. Being a big means being a mentor. My first little has already made me so proud, and I can see how much my second little and grand little love our chapter.

You can't explain what it means to be in a sorority, which is why I think you can't put a price on sisterhood. There is nothing else similar to it. There is also no comparison to the love that a sister has for her sorority. It is not something you usually get to see.

From the beginning, my sisters were so accepting. And it's wonderful how much we just welcome our girls on bid day with open arms. It's your home.

I told the little I just took that you become a part of your sorority, but you'll learn that your sorority has always been a part of you.

You can't say that about many other things. That is what makes it so valuable. At least to me.

Your Greek Experience and Education

My last post talked about how to apply your Greek experience to the real world. After attending a program called "Professional Greeks," I started thinking about applying your Greek experience in a different way-using your education during your collegiate years to your sorority/fraternity experience. There are so many opportunities to get involved within your chapter. While it is always a good idea to branch out and try different things to learn a variety of skills, there are also many ways to apply your education to your chapter experience.

An important thing to consider is that when you are working within a chapter, you are working within teams and a variety of people. There will be obstacles while working with other people, but having to work in team settings will definitely be beneficial towards your future career and even in other classes. You can't avoid working with others. Your Greek experience has you working together towards a common goal, something you should care about; otherwise you wouldn't be interested in Greek life, right? 

Let's look at some of the different roles in a chapter that you can utilize you're education in. First, I think it is important to note that management is obviously very important for the president/vice presidents/board/leadership team or whatever else you may call it. But management plays a role in just about everything else. It is not just about managing others. It is about managing yourself and holding yourself accountable. Involvement in Greek life is great because it does test you-you have to balance classes, jobs, and other commitments. Your chapter should provide you support if you struggle with this often delicate balance. However, you might not have that luxury once you get a "real" job, or even during an internship. Personal accountability is very significant to your professional career, and Greek life can help with that.

So you have you to manage yourself and possibly others. Personally, I don't entirely understand why management isn't a required core class. I think at the majority of jobs, there is some type of management requirement by the employee, and they most definitely are being managed by someone, somewhere. But within your chapter, there is some type of leadership in place, and, essentially your president, vice presidents, chairs and coordinators are managers of something. 

You can look at a Greek chapter like a business. Yes, there is a lot of fun that goes into place with joining a sorority or fraternity. But when it comes to philanthropy and programming, it is very business-esque. You need to look at finances, promotions, communications, and many other aspects. It's like a company. There are many pieces to the puzzle that are needed to make it run. 

Look at your operations part of your chapter. Obviously, for finance or math majors, they can get a lot of experience here because it is dealing with the money end of things. Interested in social work? This area could be good for you, too. Risk management would be a great position for someone who was studying sociology. If you plan to found your own company or work in nonprofits, this would be good for you as well because you have to budget items, and you can get a first hand look at how that system works. I think this would be good for engineers too because they are numbers focused and detail orientated. Operations helps keep everything else running; it is helpful to have multiple minds look over the numbers!

Recruitment is good for a variety of people. On the business end, if you are interested in human resources, this is definitely a good place for you to apply your major into Greek life. You can use practical skills from your class, even when your chapter is establishing your standards for memberships. Communications, marketing and public relations majors also could use practical skills here-you have to advertise/"sell" your chapter to others. Personally, I am an English major, and I have found advantages in that for real-world situations that others might not think of. Public speaking is definitely one of them. Analyzing situations is another. Liberal arts majors would be good for recruitment because reading all of those pieces of literature? It allows you to view a situation from different perspectives-something that can prove to be critical in business situations, which I learned to be valuable while interning in a corporate setting. Recruitment is selling, which is a process in itself. You need people to get the design/look of your selling points, you need people able to sell it, and you need people to plan the operations and logistics of the event. Also, recruitment is good for majors that lead into people-orientated careers. For example, teachers and nurses obviously have to be able to talk to a variety of people. You never know who you are going to meet during recruitment! 

Programming/philanthropy is good for those in communications, graphic design or journalism. Of course, if you want to work in non-profits, this would definitely be a good way for you to see how non-profits actually operate and possibly even find work/internships with your chapter's philanthropy. I specifically point out journalism because many local news stations and newspapers cover philanthropy events or some journalists/anchors become involved with the philanthropies, especially as their "local celebrity" status grows. This could provide good opportunities for networking.

These are just some examples of how you can apply your education to getting the most out of your Greek life experience and how you can contribute to your chapter. It could be beneficial to have some practical experience in some areas to realize how much you will enjoy your chosen career. For some majors like nursing, it is just helpful to have the variety of social interactions with different people.

I am not telling people to just stick with what they know. Rather, I think it is important that they brand out as well. When you go into the work force, it is important that you are able to be well-rounded with a variety of skills. But, if at some point during your Greek experience you find the opportunity to utilize your education and chosen major for your chapter, do it.

Like I said before, a sorority or fraternity chapter is like a business. It takes all kinds of personalities and minds to make it successful. You need people to crunch the numbers, you need people who can make the words work. Some people need to be front and center talking to others, others will keep everything running smoothly behind the scenes.  Because Greek organizations often have a multitude of events and variety of numbers, it is a great opportunity to try different roles and wear different hats. Make the most of it. My Greek experience has afforded me opportunities I would not have had otherwise. The leadership opportunities and just working as part of a team in different situations has been worthwhile.

Unfortunately, these aren't the things that the media and society choose to highlight about Greek life. However, it is something that we can highlight as individuals when we interview with prospective employers or even during networking events. Your chapter offers you many opportunities. Make the most of it, and be proud of your experience. 

Applying your Greek experience to "Real Life"

As stated in previous posts, many view Greek life with a negative view. They see Greeks as binge drinkers who haze their members and are detrimental to the rest of the university community. Therefore, it is very important that we rise above their negatives stereotypes.

And I am happy to say that many of us do go above and beyond the expectations. Even better, because we go above and beyond, it actually becomes beneficial to us. Not just for our collegiate careers, but in the "Real World" as well.

Did you know that since 1825, all but two United States presidents have been members of Greek organizations? The Greek system also has the largest network of volunteers in the U.S. 

Being apart of a Greek organization is different for reasons other than the exclusivity involved in being able to join. Greek organizations are honestly run like a business. We have to report to the student life on campus, but we also have to follow what our national (Or international!) headquarters says. Many of our activities are geared towards fundraising or raising awareness for our philanthropies. This involves detailed programming. Every Greek organization is broken down, albeit different ways, to provide the most effective and efficient manner to run the organization.

A fraternity and sorority has a multitude of purposes. Other than community service, we also take part in many activities to ensure personal development of our members. Most of our members are leaders in other organizations. Yes, we do have socials with other Greek organizations. We also support the events of other organizations, Greek and non-Greek on campus. We are leaders within the community.

How does this translate into the "Real World?" What roles within your organization did you take on? How did it help you with time management? How did you prioritize? I'm sure that somehow it helped you learn to deal with a variety of people. What did you learn from your experience? Being a part of a Greek organizations means being a part of something more than yourself. Being a sorority sister led to me joining other organizations, such as Order of Omega which I became President of. It led me to learning how to improve networking skills. It even helped in interviewing skills.

You learn the importance of a first impression. You see, in practical situations, the reactions of a single action and how your actions can affect others. I have been lucky enough to join my sorority during a period of growth. It is just fascinating to see the women at my international headquarters efficiently run expansion groups across the country and know that more women are joining my sisterhood as founders like I was. Being a founder also will translate into real world experience for me-I had to help establish this group on campus.

Being Greek can have its obstacles. But those obstacles can become experiences that we learn from. I would not trade it for anything.

Hazing Prevention-A Double Standard?

Hazing is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. It's a stupid concept and a weird word. Hazing. Makes me think of fog and heat.

That being said, I am proud to say that hazing does not occur in my Greek community and definitely not in my sorority. One of my new sisters approached me and told us she heard of rumors that our sorority and another sorority on campus hazed. What she had heard was absolutely ridiculous, including putting smiley face stickers on naked girls "fat bits" and duct taping naked girls together and making them go to a party like that.

I'm sorry, who thinks of this stuff? Like...what? Hazing was never something I worried about during my pledge process. OK, yes, I was a founder, but I'm sure something could have happened. I mean, obviously we had people leading us right? But even when we had new girls, it was never something that was ever fathomed or tolerated because IT IS SO STUPID. What the hell is the point of ridiculing someone? I know some have argued "trust." But hey, guess what? Making people look like assholes has absolutely nothing to do with my values. Pretty sure it is the exact opposite.

I know hazing has happened. I know it still happens. I have heard the stories. My dad was in a fraternity back in the '70s. Yeah, they did weird things back then. I know people who were hazed just a couple years ago. But I am proud to say that I am apart of a Greek culture that does not tolerate it. It is pretty dumb.

Wait a second.

Why do sport teams get away with it?

Nobody finds it odd that sports teams do forms of hazing all of the time and the news media reports it and laughs at it?

I understand that Greek hazing has been dangerous to lives and really messed people up. But hazing in any form is wrong. I don't care if you're being forced to wander naked in the woods, chug beer, or imitate the "Naked Cowboy" in Times Square as the San Francisco Giants rookies were forced to do recently. I know what some of you are thinking. "But wait! People could get sick or hurt or die from fraternity/sorority hazing. The sports teams are just having fun." I don't care. Think of the message it gives. These are grown men (although the fraternity men and sorority women are grown adults as well and JUST as responsible) making complete fools of their coworkers. 

In any other industry, would this be accepted?

And what about all of the little kids that look up to ball players? How would you explain that? I'm not being sarcastic here, I'm curious. Please explain to an eight year old why adults can bully their "friends" into doing stupid things. How would you do that?

As Greeks, we are constantly being reminded of the stereotypes that were forced upon us by the choices of others and sometimes have to work twice as hard to prove that we are not these stereotypes and that we treat those who wish to join our brotherhood or sisterhood with the respect and guidance they deserve. I feel that in my Greek community, we do a pretty damn good job of proving the stereotypes wrong. Greek life here is growing at a ridiculous rate. We have good grades overall. And we constantly have someone doing a community service program. We are leaders in our communities, educational, extra curricular, and more.

This is National Hazing Prevention Week. I find it in poor taste that while fraternities and sororities across the nations are trying to prove that they don't take part in this, media outlets decided to highlight the hazing of grown men who make themselves look like assholes.

It may be harmless, making them dress ridiculously. But it is the message behind it. It is in poor taste.

I know that I could never haze my sisters. I just couldn't. I am too proud of my sorority and too respectful of my values and sisters. Just saying.

EDIT: To clarify, when I say sports teams I am talking about the pros. I've heard of plenty of college teams get in trouble including at my campus, where a hockey team got in trouble for making the rookies wear their helmets all day. Professors noticed. 

The Importance of Ritual

One of my favorite aspects of sorority life is ritual. However, I think it is one of the most misunderstood aspects of Greek life. It is not necessarily an easy concept to understand. Ritual, after all, is the roots of your organization. When you are initiated, you make a promise. Every fraternity and sorority's promise is unique, but you know what happens in your ritual. I like to believe that most Greek members do truly hold their ritual close to their heart and do not let non-initiated members know everything behind the ritual. But that does not mean they necessarily understand it.

Ritual is one of the reasons behind the "secret society" stereotypes that, amusingly, still plague Greek life today. However, ritual is what binds us together. It definitely is not anything negative. It is something we share. Ritual makes a promise that we will live up to the standards our founders laid down. When you accept a bid to a Greek organization, you are making a promise that you will accept those standards and values. Your new member process up through and after initiation is to educate you about your Greek organization. Ritual.

Each group has its secrets embedded throughout; known only to those initiated. Why is this important? Why are these kept secret? Because when you were offered a bid, it meant that the brothers or sisters of the fraternity or sorority that you were being asked to join felt that YOU could live and uphold the ritual that they already knew and understood.

I think ritual is like a puzzle; it comes together in pieces. Only a few know how the pieces fit. Do not disregard ritual. I am not trying to sound pompous or snobby here-others believed that you could live these values. Often, ritual means being more than yourself. While we all have different ritual, I feel that in some ways, we have the same goal: Create good. That's what Greek life is rooted on, correct? Philanthropy? The differences lay in how we do it. But it doesn't matter. Don't brush off ritual. Embrace it. Help others embrace it too.

Truly, I feel honored knowing that there are things in my sorority that only initiated sisters know and that others will never understand. My ritual has helped me become a better person. Every day, I try to live out our values in ways that would make my sisters and founders proud. Being in a sorority is about doing more.

I live our ritual, and I see sisters do the same. Sometimes, I see blatant disregard in the Greek community for panhellenic or fraternal values. It is disappointing. Ultimately, we are all apart of one Greek community. We owe it to our founders and our brothers and sisters to live to our values. You accepted the responsibility. As it goes, you wear your letters on heart; not on a t-shirt. Usually, the first time someone sees you wearing the letters on a t-shirt, you will always be associated with them.

By participating in ritual, I feel that it continually installs your values. The majority of Greek life is fun; this is more serious. But I still enjoy it. It brings us closer together. Think about your Greek organization. Think of how many members there are, nationally or internationally. Then consider how many Greek members there are. Only a fraction of them know your ritual. Put that in perspective. I see it as significant.

Live your values everyday. I see myself becoming a better person. I am proud to live out my ritual.

Above and Beyond

Many still associate Greek life with an "Animal House" type of lifestyle. This could not be further from the truth. To me, one of the most important aspects of Greek life is that you have someone to pick you up when you fall. Always. Recently, my cousin asked me about Greek life and how bids were given out and why girls were making fools out of themselves by cheerleading themselves. I explained to her that Greek life is so much more than the recruitment aspect of it. But, of course recruitment is hugely important to use. Our new members are the future of our chapter, and it is so exciting to at least have a peek at what the future can bring and just awesome to bring new sisters into our sisterhood and watch them learn what we already know and love.

I explained to my cousin about all of the benefits of Greek life. Friendships I wouldn't have had otherwise, leadership opportunities, and networking. I told her that there was a lot of fun involved with it, like sisterhood events, Greek Week, or just hanging out with my sisters like my other friends, but that it is so much more. I explained about all of our philanthropy work and how hard we try to do good for others. How Greek life helps us learn about ourselves. How it made me a better person than I could possibly imagine.

There's so much more too. Ritual is sometimes forgotten, I think, but it's truly one of my favorite parts. It is unique to each Greek organization. Truly, I have sat and thought about it (more or less because I really love my sorority and am a total nerd about it) and my ritual reflects what I believed in before I joined my sorority and just has enhanced it. I believe it was learning that about my sorority-our ritual, our history, and our values that made me realize my sorority was home to me. It was where I fit. I've learned more about myself, and I feel as if I am a better sister, friend, leader, and woman because of my sorority. And all of this I didn't even get to explain to my cousin!

From the little I did tell her, she said that she didn't realize everything Greeks did and could see why I loved it. Even though it can be really hard to explain to others about Greek life, I felt like I had accomplished something because now there was one less person who believed that Greek life was the way John Belushi had hilariously portrayed it.

Greek life is more than I can ever explain. It has truly made me a better person. I have seen others become the best they could be because of it as well. I have also seen the good that Greeks have done for others. Little by little, we can make a difference.

Greek Life is the Best Life

My sophomore year of college was when I made the best decision of my collegiate career. I decided to join a sorority and become part of a community that has truly proven to be a home away from home. During that time, I have watched my Greek community grow and evolve in ways I never would have expected. Yesterday, I watched the largest class of new members in the history of RMU find their homes on bid day. Exactly 100 women learned what sorority sisterhoods they were joining to be a part of.

This was only the second bid day I was a part of, and it was overwhelming to see the sheer joy and happiness that all the sorority sisters and new girls shared that day. Across the three sororities, all I saw were thrilled faces. I could not have ever imagined a happier bid day. Everyone in our Greek community seemed to be in agreement too. Throughout the day, all of my social media was drowning in joyful posts of women excited to start their new journey or sisters excited to be there for that journey.

The years that I have spent with my sorority have been amazing. I never would have thought that so much good could come from it. Not for just a couple years, but for life.I have watched my sorority grow. I have watched us raise money and awareness for our philanthropies; making differences in the lives of others. We have all grown in our own ways. Now, I cannot wait to watch this group of women grow. Sorority life has offered more than I could have ever imagined. I gained amazing sisters at my chapter, but have also met sisters from other chapters of my sorority and found friends within other sororities. While we may wear different letters, it is important that at the root of it all we have the same goal: To do good for others while living our (albeit, different) values.

I was lucky enough to be a founder at my chapter. It is hard to believe that after the class of 2015 graduates, the last of the founders from my chapter will have graduated. A colony that started with only 30-some women has grown into a chapter with 70 in just two years.

I know that many of my sisters have also found other opportunities within Greek life. For me, I was fortunate enough to be accepted as a member of Order of Omega and am currently the Order of Omega chapter president. Before I joined a sorority, I never could have imagined the experiences I would have with it. It is everything I had wanted and more. To be a member of the Greek community at my university at this time is especially unique because of how much we are growing and expanding. It can only get better from here!